wow,  just read this after a verrrrry long time.  I seem to still be stuck in the mire of yesterday, even though I don't talk about it or try not to show it....It's like I still feel all those knives sticking out of my back by those who were supposed to have loved and cared about me.  It festers very deep in my soul and i do not know how to let it go...its a bubbling demon of anger that simmers suppressed for a while; but becomes inflamed by something that will happen to turn up the burner.  I still wish I were the kind who ONLY remembers the good stuff....who sees reality thru a rainbow looking glass softened by time....that is NOT me.  I would rather someone NOT share something they have done to hurt me than tell me the truth and apologize...or NOT apologize but assuage their own guilty feelings.  KEEP YOUR GUILT TO YOURSELF...STOP HURTING ME TO MAKE YOURSELF FEEL BETTER!.. I know what I can handle, and what I can't....so I would rather have no more knives in my back and a bit of peace on the surface of my heart....for the depths are too dark, angry and painful....I pray for them to let go of my soul.  I PRAY AND PRAY AND PRAY AND PRAY!