Been awhile.......life and events intervened. My husband and soul mate was delivered the blow of a cancer diagnosis. While we are dealing with doctors, chemo drugs, and numerous tests; we are also delving more into the spiritual aspect of this calamity. His strong spirit seems to be to let go and let the Creator do what He does best........be in control! I, on the other hand, am having trouble reconciling my spiritual beliefs with the reality of a possible loss of my beloved. I go from depression to confidence, to acceptance, to trying to wrest control over the situation. I have since become more aware of the Cosmos and the Creator sending me signs and signals that up to now I have been reluctant to trust. Trust is not an easy thing for me.......never has been. I am learning that I must, however, begin to trust that there is a reason behind everything.....not just the surface tragedy that we may see. All things work towards the good of the soul that is experiencing the lifetime given to it. We make choices that either help or hinder us....but never do they permanently harm us. We just learn from these choices, helpful or harmful, and move forward with the goal of being ever wiser. We may have to come back around for a do-over...but eventually we catch on. That is the awakening of the soul's knowledge of it's link with the Creator. If you are a Christian, Christ forgave your harmful acts by giving up his life in your place. If you are a Buddhist, Karma and the wheel of incarnations will repair the same acts. Judaism calls for us to do mitzvahs...or random acts of kindness... Kabbalah (which is part of Chasidic Judaism) teaches mitzvahs and reincarnation to repair harmful acts and to learn from them. Whatever obstruction is put before us is there to teach us a lesson to move us forward to our rightful place with G_D. I do not know of Islam or Hinduism.....but I am certain that most religions stress giving up our own egos in favor of a greater prize. That prize would be joining the Creator as One. I have to work on giving up my sense of self and truly trust that all works towards the greater good.........Easier said than done when you see someone you love and cherish going through pain, disease, frailty, and struggling just for a bit of normality. So, until next time, I will end this for now. Learning, living, struggling to understand, but trying to stay in the light and trying to share the light.........