Never underestimate the impact of a small segment of your life.  It may be one year, it may be 5 years, it may be more; but never underestimate the impact on your soul. We all go thru life sharing little segments of our lives.  In the end those segments connect us all. They connect us all in a web of spirituality that can never be broken...but because we are all connected,  everything we do affects everyone else.  Each vignette prepares us for the the shape of things to come. Some may be more meaningful than others, some may imprint upon our soul more than others; but they all shape who we are, what we are, where we have been,and where we are going. This becomes so much clearer as we near the dusk of life. We see which segments bring us to tears and which ones we may regret and wish we could do over. That is what it is all about. Life is a walk through door after door and we keep the things that are meaningful, and leave behind those that are not. Hopefully, in the end, we retain the love we gave and the love we received. Share it, never ration it, embrace it, and know that what we give out, we always get back.

As I sit and ponder on my life and what was and now what is....I realize how much life is just a circle.  It amazes me that where we start as children and teens, the bonds we formed get lost as we proceed down our own paths of adulthood. Spouses, partners, loved ones, children, money, all intervene in our lives. We become focused on building our own homes and family. We decide if we wish to be wealthy and/or famous or simply do the best we can at providing for our loved ones. We become what our souls really value.  Sometimes we get caught up in our own personal battles and hazards that we seem to be unable to break free of. As we age, we realize life was a journey of education and growth of spirit. We no longer have to guide our young, be soccer moms or dads.  We now have the time to figure out who WE are and where we fit in the scheme of life's ongoing saga.  Some of us continue to make the same mistakes over and over again as if we were in a room with no doors. Some of us become introspective and realize we must have learned a lot more than we thought and now must figure out how to use this knowledge. The past relationships and friendships we made come back to us as fond memories as we again seek each other out. We find some have not changed, some have become so different that it is hard to relate to them. This really doesn't matter as we begin to close the circle back up and hold on to each other, support each other, and just be there for another. I am finding that our differences are our similarities...just as they were when we were young. These things didn't really matter when we were all outdoors playing hide and seek, or tag. We were all one despite how different we were. As I said, FULL CIRCLE.....it shouldn't matter now either for we are all coming to the circle's close where it will all start over again and again. The real lesson here is what we get out of life, and that we realize, in the end, IT'S ALL ONLY LOVE.

As this election season approaches,  I am saddened by how divided we have all become.  Friend against friend, when just after September 11 there was such a wonderful feel about America.  We were all united and standing tall against an outside enemy.  Unfortunately we have a lot of inside enemies that need this same "oneness" against them.  They are called greed, selfishness, non empathy towards one another, and failure to inform ourselves of truth.  We need to look at all sides of an issue and not follow blindly ANY leader or any News Organization.  We need to check our hearts and check our facts and act accordingly.  We need to learn to be responsible for ourselves and our families and plan accordingly.  We need to support charities and organizations that help out those less fortunate than ourselves.  A nation that relies solely on it's government is doomed to fail.  Government's very nature is never going to be individualized compassion.  We have to do the hard work.  We have to elect leaders that are doing things for us.......not themselves.
It sometimes is very hard to tell until it is too late.  That is why an informed voting populace is so important.
We need to go back to when public servants were just that.......they served their country for a given allotment of time and then let the next person serve.  Our government was never set up to house men
who made a career out of it.  Men who became so out of touch with the average person that he no longer could even go to a store for himself, pump his own gas, or write his own checks and balance a checkbook.  We are to blame for sending these men back each election.  Change is not always bad.  If you or I were doing a bad job at a particular career, we would find that out quickly by an employer or by our own bank account.  This is such a great country made up of so many diverse and wonderful people.  We need to go back to basics and find public servants who listen to us and make sure we come first.  Power corrupts so easily.  It is a potent aphrodisiac that can take hold like the strongest addictive drug.  This country now needs an "intervention" by it's very noble populace.  This is why we split away from Britain so many years ago.  We wanted freedom from an unfeeling, tyrannical government.  We wanted to be free to express our own beliefs and to stretch our own wings.  We believed we could do anything we set our minds to.  That is why so many flocked to this country to become American citizens.  We have lost that drive, that hunger and become complacent and reliant upon government to solve our problems.  We will always get the government we deserve if we let this complacency continue.  I do not want to give up on this country.  I do not like the government pitting neighbor against neighbor.  Use your wits, your heart, your brain, and vote your conscience.

I feel like I am being drug along on a roller coaster.  Being a caretaker of a loved one who is sick is one of the hardest things I have ever had to do.  I don't mean to take away from what my beautiful hubby is having to suffer through; but when you can't feel what they are feeling, or think how they are thinking, it is hard to fully understand how to be supportive and know when to back off or step up.  He is not very "body aware" so it is hard to get him to explain symptoms or even pain.  I have been the go between on the phone numerous times to the doctor's office because he doesn't want to complain or doesn't know how to explain what he is feeling.  We don't know if this is normal for his treatment, or whether to worry that it is something else.  I am having a hard time dealing with bouts of depression.  I get hopeful on days he seems to do well, and plunge into the depths on other days.  I thought when treatment was finished it would be a steady (albeit slow) uphill process with each day (week) getting back to more normal.  If I could only take on some of his symptoms and relieve his discomfort once in awhile it would help.  I feel like "I" need a keeper and that makes me feel guilty, which triggers the depressions.  I know no one ever promised life would be a bed of roses, but right now all I am feeling are the thorns.  I have to keep in my mind that everything is for a reason, and that reason is for the soul's best interest.  It is hard to look objectively when day to day seems so oppressive.  I must keep the light and the positive going.  It is the only way to have the outcome be positive.  I have come to realize I am not as strong as I always thought I was.  I am having to lean on a higher power   for my strength.  Maybe that is my lesson.  I am NOT in charge.........yet in some ways I AM in control because I have to choose to NOT react.....but act in a forward direction.  It seems everything I thought I understood and believed is in a state of utter confusion.  It all makes sense until you are in the midst of a crisis that seems to be spinning out of control.  I had to put thoughts down just to cope with the day.

As I think about the people in this world I truly admire and hold up as being heroes,  I NEVER see an athlete, a movie star, a politician, a musician, or anyone else whom you may encounter on the tv or big screen.  It is always the woman, man, or child who gives selflessly to help another fellow human being out...even at risk of their own safety.  This trait is POWER...This trait is GOLDEN....This trait of putting another before yourself is one of the most noble achievements anyone will ever accomplish.  It is an act done in humility, without regard for any notoriety or remuneration. It is giving up ego and returning to the reason we were put on this earth.....Strength comes in many guises.  It may be physical, it may be emotional, it may be that you were put here to be a role model on how to live a life fully no matter what hardships you encounter. We are surrounded by heroes every day and never know it; yet we idolize those on tv or movies who have no other aspiration other than fulfilling themselves. Hardships either bring out the worst in us...or the best. When we idolize those who only idolize themselves, we truly demean the humanity in ourselves.  We are MORE than a mirror for those that think they are special,powerful, or smarter than we are. We are strong and powerful because we are each unique and give in our own small ways. When we realize this.....we will know it is possible that we can be heroes too.

HOW TO LIVE YOUR LIFE

You can try to plan and live for the future; but that isn't a given as things change
You can try to live in the past; but that is fruitless because it no longer exists
The only real way to live is in the present...day by day...and make every minute count

Hopefully trying to work on this philosophy........  Much love!

Just a thought!   Think hard and deep, don't just answer quickly.
WOULD YOU RATHER KNOW, OR NOT KNOW????
AND WOULD YOU RATHER CHOOSE, OR NOT CHOOSE???
No specific subject......just an introspective peek into your own
psyche for your own amusement.  A mind puzzle, if you will.

I'm only here for a little while
Treat me kindly and I will do the same for you

Listen when I need to be heard
And I will listen to you

Don't shut me out of your emotions
There is no hurt that can hurt worse than this

We all think our time here is endless
We need to live it like it's not

Words spoken in anger can hurt for a lifetime
And a lifetime may not be enough to make amends

Not all roads are long and scenic
But all roads can lead to love

Take joy in the simplicity of the world that surrounds you
For it is more complex than you know

The spirit will soar when it's wings are ready
And it is not ours to name the hour or day that we go

Been awhile.......life and events intervened. My husband and soul mate was delivered the blow of a cancer diagnosis. While we are dealing with doctors, chemo drugs, and numerous tests; we are also delving more into the spiritual aspect of this calamity. His strong spirit seems to be to let go and let the Creator do what He does best........be in control! I, on the other hand, am having trouble reconciling my spiritual beliefs with the reality of a possible loss of my beloved. I go from depression to confidence, to acceptance, to trying to wrest control over the situation. I have since become more aware of the Cosmos and the Creator sending me signs and signals that up to now I have been reluctant to trust. Trust is not an easy thing for me.......never has been. I am learning that I must, however, begin to trust that there is a reason behind everything.....not just the surface tragedy that we may see. All things work towards the good of the soul that is experiencing the lifetime given to it. We make choices that either help or hinder us....but never do they permanently harm us. We just learn from these choices, helpful or harmful, and move forward with the goal of being ever wiser. We may have to come back around for a do-over...but eventually we catch on. That is the awakening of the soul's knowledge of it's link with the Creator. If you are a Christian, Christ forgave your harmful acts by giving up his life in your place. If you are a Buddhist, Karma and the wheel of incarnations will repair the same acts. Judaism calls for us to do mitzvahs...or random acts of kindness... Kabbalah (which is part of Chasidic Judaism) teaches mitzvahs and reincarnation to repair harmful acts and to learn from them. Whatever obstruction is put before us is there to teach us a lesson to move us forward to our rightful place with G_D. I do not know of Islam or Hinduism.....but I am certain that most religions stress giving up our own egos in favor of a greater prize. That prize would be joining the Creator as One. I have to work on giving up my sense of self and truly trust that all works towards the greater good.........Easier said than done when you see someone you love and cherish going through pain, disease, frailty, and struggling just for a bit of normality. So, until next time, I will end this for now. Learning, living, struggling to understand, but trying to stay in the light and trying to share the light.........