49 years ago I was 15 years old and had such a naive look on life.  I had been bounced around from foster family to foster family from the age of probably 2 or 3.  Finally at age 10 I went to live with my mother whom I loved with all my heart.  Apparently she had demons that she could not conquer in her life, and she decided to end her life at MY tender age of 15.  It left me with such a hole in my heart as well as in my life.  No idea about why, no idea about any kind of family history or past.  My father had fled the scene when I was an infant, so I knew nothing about him either.  Today is the 49th anniversary of her suicide, an act that I have such mixed feelings about.  Do we possess the right to end our own life???? Is it only for the Creator to decide???? What about those who are left behind with so many questions and so few answers???  Would I have been different had she not done this act?  What is her soul's fate????  There are those who say her soul is forever doomed.  There are those who say this is not so; but, she will have to come back and atone.  As I remember her beauty, her laugh, her anguish .... today is always hard to deal with.  Why did she choose 8 days before my birthday ????  Was it me???? Was I not enough love for her to continue on ???  I will never know in this life....but I am certainly hoping to see her again.  May her soul find peace, love, and light wherever she is.  For at 15 years old, she was my everything...... and I missed getting to know her as a person.  My daughters missed a grandmother and knowledge of a side of the family I know little about.

Rest in peace May Anne LeMond Evans...... 3-29-1912 to 1-21-1964
You will always be loved, but never understood....